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AGLOW

I have begun this blog to honour the spirit within.  To stay curious and ever changing, allowing space for vulnerability.  I will share my reflections on the moments of everyday as well as the grandness of adventure. Searching for meaning and growth in all life experiences.  I hope to dream & believe more. To love and live with a whole heart & nurture my joy.  While inspiring others to do the same.

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Moments

As I cuddled my son in bed last night he asked me “will this be the last cuddle for awhile?” Broke my heart. 

I dropped groceries off for the last time to my folks. My husband will taking over this duty. As I stood 10 feet away from my Mom and Dad and chatted with them I held back tears. I don’t know when I can hug them again. Or if I will. 

I enter full back into the work force today. I do not know what it will look like for my family. Best case scenario I semi isolate myself to mitigate the spread to my family. They would be OK if they got this virus. But my husband is the connection to both our folks. I don’t want to risk it. Worst case scenario they or I move out. Yes – some of my colleagues have already made this extreme measure. They had to as their immediate loved ones are vulnerable. They became a nurse to serve others despite the risks. 

Families of so many health care workers are sacrificing as well. Families of the cleaners, kitchen staff, first responders, grocery, pharmacy and other essential services. All are doing what they can at the expense of the physical and mental health of themselves and their loved ones. To serve. 

Then I worry – how do I protect the people I see as a nurse? I will wash and  wash and do everything I can to not be a vector. But it is not a perfect system in a not so perfect world.  They are so very vulnerable. 

As I move forward in this unprecedented time , as a mom, wife , daughter and nurse, I hold onto courage in the face of vulnerability and the unknown. I stand in a place of gratitude. For where I live, the beauty that surrounds me and the people who care enough to make the change happen to ease the pain that is about to enfold. 

I believe there will be many pearls of wisdom from this time of unrest. Hold on – reach out – stay calm and stand unified. Together we will let this wash over – then find ourselves holding one another with the sun shining and the tides of grief and ebbs of love giving us the space to heal. 

Blessings to all and Prayers of love. 

You will not define me

Vulnerability

Should be a choice

My own time and place

Not coming in like a storm

Of insults and anger

Undermining my wellbeing

With his warped believe of power

To become a target

Of such hostility and lies

Throwing his own insecurities

At me, unexpected and undeserved

For he has no capacity to see through his ego of darkness

To witness the lack of compassion for another

Creates moral injury

A direct result

of an angry man

Lost in his construed reality

I have been caught in a net

Of another’s own sad story

But I am strong and resilient

I am true and intelligent

I will wrap that net around me like a cloak

Of shimmering greens and blues

I will stand true

To myself

As a nurse, as a person

I gain strength in adversity

Vulnerability defined on my terms

Moving forward

Make change

Advocate

Bring justice

For a wrong that will ultimately

Only leave shadows on

An angry man’s face

Nature’s Clarity

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Mountains stand magestically

the sunset brushes all with clarity

challenging the mind to settle into

moments of solitude and grace

 

long inhales of gratitude

quiet exhales of compassion

lifts the veil of disconnection

between hidden realms

 

nature’s wonder and beauty

embrace the souls with love

the spirits dance in delight

 

WE ALL HAVE WRINKLES

“People in glass houses should not throw stones.”

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A friend had a truly horrifying experience recently and I give thanks that all are OK. Sadly many others, instead of showing love and support, feel it is justifiable to criticize and place blame.

Why is it that people feel it is OK to judge, bully and shame others who are vulnerable? On social media, personally or with rumours.  Why continue to traumatize those that are already hurting?

Stop throwing rocks at those who are already vulnerable please.

Before people go and start saying nasty things maybe they should first stand and look at themselves in the mirror.

See those wrinkles? We all have them; regardless of your age.

Each wrinkle has a story line.  Some stories are what the universe has thrown at us, when life has unexpectedly gone sideways.

More of those wrinkles are a result of the stories we ourselves made up. Our very own blunders and errors in judgement.

NOBODY is immune to making mistakes. We all have faults.

We will all slip up again… and again…. and again…..

Lets just hope that all those slip ups have small consequences and do not end in tragedy. It is also said that mistakes are the best opportunities for learning. Lets build resilience, not shame. By throwing words and turning our backs on others, we all lose. Show support and assist others to recover from adverse events.  It is then that we ALL have the opportunity to gain wisdom.

So when you look in the mirror remind yourself of the story behind each wrinkle. Sure, you can try to hide the wrinkles.  The wrinkled story may be disguised behind botox or redirected at others with cruel words. Regardless, the wrinkles will always reappear. Botox cannot hide all our years of aging.  Regrets will aways come back to get you in the end.

We are all spinning on this green and blue spaceship together. Nobody gets out alive. So why not try being kind. As Mary Ann Evans; AKA, George Eliot said,

“What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?”

If you walk away from your reflection and you still insist on throwing rocks, make sure you first open the door to your own glass house. If you keep tossing, eventually your own house will shatter, and you will find yourself surrounded in broken glass.

Hoping that others will show compassion and help you rebuild again.

PRISMS

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simple things bring change

 

if you notice –

the blossoms of opportunity

 

the reflections of dreams

that you had swept under the rug

only to find them floating – 

sparkling in the dust

that is illuminated by the sunlight

streaming through your window

 

the early morning beauty hidden

in the prisms of another new day